I am going to be really fast on this. I don’t know how many times have I told myself I’d finally make a comeback and simpy retreated. And I thought it was because this bought bitter memories, or I needed time away from the computer, but apparently it’s stronger than all of that. Avoiding you the details, I guess I’ve reached a breaking point, my mind has, my brain, I don’t know. I wish I knew how brains works to stop this. The thing is, I have grown some kind of aversion towards the machine. I know, stupid. Very very stupid, but man, have I tried to overcome it. I know one can live perfectly fine without internet, but I have friends here, I have stuff to work on, I need to check my email for college and for jobs, and I can’t do any of that thanks to whatever is happening to my psyche. Writing this is taking me such an amount of energy. I have developed anger problems and I’m literally on the edge of snapping every minute of the day, so I guess that’s another reason why my brain is pushing me away from, socializing. Not to talk about this huge, damn depression. It’s like that Lammy you all know and, for some reason still unknown to me, love, has been buried under a wall of bricks. I would hate to hurt any of you unintentionally, or to pay it on here, or I don’t know. I am not myself. Well. The point I wanted to make is, that I’m sorry, for all of you who still message me and react so positively every time you see some signal from this account. Even those who are there just for the art mean a lot to me. I really don’t know when or how I am going to make it back. I really hope to make it before summer ends. But whatever happens, I want you guys to know that I’m sorry, and that I miss you lots, you all know who you are.
I also want to apologize for those who paid before hand for their commissions. I’ll send you all back your money and simply hope, in some other ocassion, I’ll be able to give you the drawings I promised.
Maybe by some turn of events, tomorrow I’m back at it. Maybe I never make it back. I cannot be sure of anything right now. But whatever happens, know that it’s nice to know you’re all there unconditionally, and that I appreciate each one of your messages, whether it’s one or three or just a smiley.
I hope to see you all soon again. Wish me luck.
My phone has been stolen today, like, right in front of my eyes, and wow, it doesn’t bother me that much cause it was for free and I can live without a phone for a few days until we can get a second hand one or something
no, what bothers me is that whoever stole it, even though they cannot use it to call anymore, have in their hands all my pictures, personal pictures, old, beloved pictures dating from my old phone, my archives, my conversations in whatsapp, my contacts information, etc etc all because we apparently lost the box it came with, where the number we need to definitely block it is written on
my whole body itches and i feel about to puke, ugh, I hate this stuff
but well. i don’t know if you can call this good or bad news, but given the horrible state my career is at i’ll have to spend a lot of time working and catching up on both theoric and practical homework, and since two weeks of holidays are coming ahead for me, i guess i’ll be able to get on from time to time, even if I don’t speak much
except for this account i’ll keep the rest on undetermined hiatus. i dont have the strength to delete any right now
my personal life is hell and many things have changed since the last time i spoke here, but i’m going to try and get back on my wheels, for better or for worse, still hoping for the best. freaking shit is everything, really
Hey, you bunch of cuties. Stopping by again just to give you all some signal. I hope everything is all right with you and I miss you so. <3 And seriously, do send me asks or something if serious stuff happens, I would feel horrible if I found out super late. :( I hope life will go back to what it was soon enough. Until then, take care of yourselves, please.
I miss all of you guys a lot, a lot, and I hope everything is going well or as well as possible for you. <3 I’ll come back with more silly drawings and random text posts one day, I swear. As well as take care of the long awaited commissions, I want to punch myself in the face for taking so damn long. I’ll even add some extra to make up for the wait. Thanks again for your patience and for those of you who still follow this blog and sometimes contact me. It’s terribly appreciated right now, and always. :) Kisses and hugs.
I’ve been holding back for weeks, so why must they act like I’m constantly like this for ONE DAY I cannot stop the breakdown
auuugh i think my molar is back at it, my face right side is so swollen